I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
