i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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