i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
