Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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