I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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