I need help removing her.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
