How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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