My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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