Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
