she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
