We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
