im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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