Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
