epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
When did angry sex become our thing?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
