so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
the day after is always just damage control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
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