im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
