Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
