everyone is single if you try hard enough
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
