I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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