Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
