There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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