No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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