I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
