My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
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Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
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We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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