so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
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Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
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I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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