Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
