hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
