i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
