I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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