Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Girls should come with a carfax report
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
