I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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