she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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