Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
