and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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