Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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