wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Randomize
