sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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