Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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