Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
