Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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