i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
