is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
