I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Is it because I queefed?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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