im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
