is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
