Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
someone owes me an orgasm
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
