haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
