i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
