Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
