Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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