just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Randomize
