so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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