Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
