Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
