i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
