your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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