Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
