Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
