Someone shit on the floor
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize