I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
