Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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