I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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