What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
