Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
