Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
