She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize